Merry Christmas

By Paulette Tobin

12/20/00

"Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow ... Have yourself a Merry little Christmas now." - From "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

Are you ready for Christmas? If your answer is "no," try to relax. Christmas will come, whether you are ready or not. That is the glory of the holiday.

Christmas preparedness for me comes on two levels: on the material plane, and in my heart. I believe my heart is ready. As for the material end of it, that is another story. At this point there is the very real possibility that we might not have any presents under our tree this year. And any presents we do have may be wrapped in brown paper bags.

This year we did not draw names for gifts on either side of the family. Our Emily is 16, and what she really wants (a car) wouldn't fit under the tree. So Christmas shopping has been very low on my list of priorities. Also, we are at the (very happy) point in our lives when we now longer worry about scouring every store in town to find a Cabbage Patch doll or a Playstation or whatever other thing is the hottest and least available gift for kids.

Emily was a baby and we were living in Omaha the year Cabbage Patch dolls were THE hot thing for Christmas. I remember trying to disguise how appalled I was when one of my neighbors told me how she had acquired a Cabbage Patch doll for her child's Christmas. She had a friend who worked at an Omaha department store who tipped her about when the next shipment would arrive. Then she arrived at the store before it opened, hoping to get a head start on the other shoppers. Apparently others had store spies as well, because there were already people in line when she got there. When the doors opened, my neighbor told me, everyone headed straight for the toy department, most breaking into a run to grab whatever dolls were on the shelves. I remember hearing stories about people who drove hundreds of miles and paid hundreds of dollars to buy Cabbage Patch dolls that year.

Here in North Dakota, the weather has been nasty for weeks. Yesterday we had our third blizzard of the season, and today is the first day of winter. The cold winds and snow are certainly a challenge to my Christmas spirit.

Everywhere in the media there are stories about the stress this time of year puts on so many people. Some people have very unrealistic expectations of what the holiday should be. Others may be dealing with personal problems that make it very hard for them to be joyful. For some it is the first Christmas they are spending away from their families, or the first Christmas since the death of a loved one. I remember the first New Year's Eve after my Dad died. I cried all day. It had been such a hard year in so many ways, and its coming to an end made me feel like I was saying good-bye to him all over again. Even happy Christmas memories can provoke wistfulness and longing for times past that seem simpler and happier somehow than the present.

Many of us who grew up in families with a Germans from Russia heritage have our own unique Christmas memories. One of the places where you can read about some of them is the Web site www.lib.ndsu.nodak.edu/gerrus/traditions/christmas.html. One of the remembrances there was written by Jim Heilman, who graduated from Eureka High School in 1967. Here is what Jim wrote:

"My favorite childhood holiday memories from the 1950's and early 60's are associated with Advent and Christmas services at Zion Lutheran Church in Eureka, S.D. Unlike in most congregations today, singing of Christmas hymns during Advent was forbidden - only Advent hymns were permitted, which heightened my anticipation of Christmas. "O Come, O Come Emanuel" was sung every Sunday of Advent, and it remains one of my favorite hymns. Saturday afternoons were reserved for endless rehearsals of the Sunday school Christmas program to be held on Christmas Eve, part of which consisted of recitations in German, which were incomprehensible to most of us.

"Christmas Eve services were glorious. They began with a procession of the children singing "O Come, Little Children." We processed from the church basement into the sanctuary and were seated in the front pews. As we walked into the sanctuary, we were greeted with the sight of two enormous Christmas trees on either side of the altar, so large they nearly obscured the altar, covered with lights and ornaments. The obligatory procession of characters from the Nativity was part of the service. (One year, one of the poorest and least popular girls, and the object of scorn by most of us, was chosen by our pastor for the part of Mary. We were appalled. Only much later did I realize that no better choice could have been made to symbolize Mary than this girl.) At the appointed time in the program, each of us nervously recited our pieces, or sang our songs. The services ended with the singing of "O Du Froehliche," which most of the adults knew and most of the children didn't. I've never forgotten the sound of the old folks, most born in Russia, as they sang that hymn in their quavering voices.

"After the service, we received bags of treats (candy, fruit, Cracker Jack, etc.) from our Sunday school teachers, and then my family and I walked to my Grandparent's house to open gifts. I never understood why Santa Claus always visited their house while I was in church.

"Advent traditions are still the most meaningful part of the holiday season for me, especially here in southern Baptist country. (Jim lives in College Station, Texas.) On Saturday, we will decorate the outside of our house with Advent lights, and on Sunday, our church will recreate a 16th century Advent service (in German) done by Martin Luther. It will be fun to hear German spoken and sung again, albeit with a "Texas Twang." Thanks, Jim, for sharing that!

The other night Mark and I went to Emily's Christmas concert at Red River High School. One of the songs was "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," which is certainly one of the sweetest and most evocative carols. Before the song, one of the girls in the choir told us about the history of the song, and how it had first been recorded and played on the radio at the time World War II was drawing to a close. A few days earlier, she said, a group from Red River had sung the song at a Rotary Club meeting in Grand Forks. Afterwards, one of the older Rotarians came forward to say how the song brought back memories for him, because the first time he heard it, he had been on Okinawa. Then the man burst into tears.

I love Christmas, but sometimes it makes me sad, too. I can't help thinking about how many of the people I love are so far away from me. And so, wherever you are, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year.

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Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Let your heart be light

From now on our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Make the Yuletide gay

From now on, our troubles will be miles away.

Once again as in olden days

Happy golden days of yore

Faithful friends who are dear to us

Will be near to us once more.

Through the years, we all will be together

If the fates allow

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas now.

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(Paulette Haupt Tobin grew up on a farm near Eureka and graduated from EHS in 1973. Today she lives in Grand Forks, N.D. You can e-mail her at tobin@infi.net.)